Page View Monitor

My Shelfari Shelf

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The 5 Most Overrated Things in Youth Culture

What do you think? 


So you’re wearing bright-yellow skinny jeans to school again? Has it ever occurred to you that it’s not 2008 anymore?

Fads transition as years pass. Some trends become emblematic of iconic generations (e.g. The Beatles, the Disco era, the War on Terror), while some make us cringe at the mere concept of it (e.g. Jonas Brothers, jejecaps, F4). Throughout history of fads, there have been both hits and misses. But many people don’t know that the most regrettable misses are also the most overrated ones.

Bear in mind, overrated things are not exactly bad things. Most overrated things are in fact good, only not THAT good. It’s like having to juxtapose Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Why is Britney more famous despite Christina always being able to perform a gazillion notes better?

Heed our word - watch out for these 5 OVERRATED THINGS IN YOUTH CULTURE and spare yourself the embarrassment of having to look back one day and say, “Man, I can’t believe I went to that Justin Bieber concert six years ago.”


1.       DSLR Nazis

They’re out there – those DSLR Nazis waiting to shoot you just like Hayden Kho would shoot at anything with an opening.

            DSLR Nazis are much like the real Nazis who believed they were superior because they claimed racial purity. Today’s DSLR Nazis, on the other hand, declare superiority by having a P60,000 lanyard hang on their necks.

Because DSLRs are chick magnets.
           DSLR Nazis couldn’t give a fat turd about photography technicalities - the lighting, subject, composition and whatnot. To them, buying a DSLR is a free pass from having to buy “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Basic Photography”.

            Planning to buy a Canon EOS 7D or a Nikon D300s each priced at six-figures you don’t want to know? Just remember that there are no warranties that cover talent. If your photographic skills are faulty, or just nonexistent, don’t come running back to the store asking for your money back and complaining how the pictures you took of your girlfriend came out like time-lapse photography of a decaying maya.

            Real photographers could take good pictures even with a point-and-shoot camera. So the next time you see some douche with a DSLR holding the lens incorrectly, think twice before you decide to get intimidated.



2.      Lady Gaga’s theatrical antics


While Katy Perry donned Armani and J.Lo sported an Emilio Pucci dress to the 2011 Grammy’s, Lady Gaga wore something a wee more subtle to the red carpet: A GIANT EGG.

We have nothing against the attention-stealing singer’s body of work. What irks us, however, is how all the tantrum theatrics always seem to overshadow her music to the point that we couldn’t care less about what she’s singing anymore.

We fail to see that Gaga’s music is laudable even without the occasional 12-foot heels. Instead of pondering upon the lyrical value of Gaga’s singles, we often ask ourselves questions like: “What butcher shop will be making her next dress?” or “What’s Gaga dry-humping in her music videos these days?”

Lady Gaga, we hate to rattle your nest, but all this unnecessary shock tactics is getting a bit overbearing for us. It’s like eating five Big Macs for breakfast…everyday. We know that asking you to wear a t-shirt the rest of us won’t convince you, but it wouldn’t hurt if you toned your wardrobe (or exoskeleton) down a notch.

The day will come when this pop phenom will run out of bizarre outfits. After all, nobody ever has an infinite number of getups. Even Lady Gaga.. itself.



3.      The Philippine Azkals


During the Pre-Azkals Period (circa when God said “Let there be light!” to 2009), this has always been Basketball Country. Even before we were just a tickly feeling in our parents’ underpants, everyone loved NBA and PBA. Who would’ve guessed that pretty boy Phil Younghusband would find a way for football to keep pace? 

A typical Azkals fan.
Why is it that it took the Philippine Dragon Boat team forever to permeate in the Filipino public eye and get the funding needed to compete overseas while it only took the Philippine Azkals a couple of gigs in ASAP to  enter every obscure international football tournament there is?

Just like what rice is to a meat-eating German, soccer has zero appeal to Filipinos. But if you throw in a couple of mestizos in the setup, everyone will be buying tickets to their matches in no time, even if it’s a sport most Filipinos originally didn’t care about. We even bet that half of the Azkals fans don’t even know what the rules of football are.

With that said, it’s only a matter of time before we could find a couple of Pinoy-Norwegians to establish a National Chinese Garter team in the Philippines.



4.       Overly Photoshopped FB pictures

We’ve now entered our nation’s most pressing issue: Photoshop. Who hasn’t seen photos posted online that are so saturated, you’d think you’re staring at a color wheel?

Facebook profile pictures are supposed to be the best photos out of the bunch that you would be proud to showcase your friends. If your profile photo is you making pa-cute whilst sprinkled with only the finest stars and glitter effects Photoshop has to offer, you should question your aesthetic standards immediately.
Political posters never looked this good.
Photoshop should be left to the experts, or at least to those who actually know how to use it. Photoshop may be overrated because people massacre themselves with it but it’s also underrated because people who are good at it usually don’t get much commendation.


Grab the nearest FHM on your study desk and observe how the scantily clad models are all shiny and supple. Realistically, nobody is ever that originally flawless in photo. It’s about time magazines duly credited their skilled Photoshop artitsts. Thanks to them, even Mommy Dionisia could look like she’s fresh out of the womb.

If you’re not satisfied with how you look in pictures, spare yourself the misspelled invectives of your FB friends and stay away from Photoshop. If you can’t be proud of your natural form, there are always photos of Avril Lavigne or Marian Rivera you could use as profile pictures just like in the good ol’ Friendster years!



5.      Justin Bieber

            If you’ve been to Hollywood Boulevard, you’ll see multitudes of wasted people strumming away on their guitars or harmonizing to Michael Jackson songs just to get their 15 minutes of fame. While many claw through mud and barbed wire for a shot at stardom, musically challenged Justin Bieber had to roll on his baby carriage and take everybody’s dreams away.

            Justin Bieber doesn’t need to pull his pants down to show everybody what a tiny prick he is.  The Biebs may not be what experts call a “singer”, but his fans in lace tights and miniskirts have made this nine year-old self-proclaimed artist a megabrand nonetheless.

Talent Shmalent! The Biebs doesn’t have to make actual music to sell albums, concert tickets, perfume brands or his sanitary napkin line. As long as there are hormonally impaired teenagers and weird old men out there supporting Justin Bieber, his career lives on. Well, at least until the hormones kick in.

           Once the Biebs’ adult body parts finally arrive, it’s time for these disoriented Beliebers to convert to worshipping another douche-in-the-making. We’re keeping our eyes on you, Angelina Jolie’s adopted son.

3 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Benta 'to grabeeeh!

    ReplyDelete
  2. kuya andrew katibay. clap clap.tama ini gabos. katibay.



    _camille_

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a great article, really. It's just that the site set up looks horrible.

    ReplyDelete

I'd like to hear from you!